| is this the life that you lead the life thats meant for you.. |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
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| employees of the year now we back to work.... |
[22 Oct 2005|02:26am] |
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atmosphere |
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what. you havent seen this in awhile have ya now?
update. quick and easy.
living at home.
moving out weds.
in with jake.
i'm an electrician.
i'm going to electrician school two days a week.
i love my job.
i'm high as shit.
john wrights taking a shot.
and ritchy is a crazy nucca.
peace
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| i am right i swear i'm right.... |
[18 Aug 2005|02:36pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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dashboard confessional |
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everytime i hear dashboard, you are the first thing that comes to mind. very good memories. you always have a place in my heart. somewhere.
i'm leaving the pointe next weds. dont know where i'll be staying. with david ford somewhere is all i know.
alot has happened. i got to deal with a bunch of bull shit. bleh. heres to a trying next couple of months.
peace
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| you dont know how it feels to be me... |
[24 Jul 2005|05:51am] |
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mood |
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once again fuck the bullshit.. |
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music |
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tom petty |
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so tonite was another great night. i've decided this weekend has been one of the shittiest weekends i've had in a while. i did have fun every night so far. but something always happens that ruins my night. last night it was shitty being around certain people. and then tonite this kid cooper tried to fight me. and i was going to i was out there in the mix ready to throw down. but no one would let me. what bothered me even more is that these kid that showed up with cooper hit susan and jenny. seriously how low can you get to hit a girl. fuck that.
and on top of it all i cant sleep in my bed. whatever. i'm over it.
peace
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| turn it off turn it on again... |
[21 Jul 2005|07:23pm] |
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mood |
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fuck this shit... |
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music |
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punchline |
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girls suck.
the end.
i'm over this town. the only reason i should stay is cause family and friends. but why bother.
fuck it. i need to get drunk right now.
peace
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| i'll be number one with a bullet a loaded gun complex cock it and pull it... |
[29 Jun 2005|09:00am] |
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mood |
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tired but fucking awesome |
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music |
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fall out boy |
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oh look its justin's monthly rant about how shitty his life.
ha you wish.
after one full month of struggling, i think i may be coming out on top. i was jobless for two weeks. and those two weeks were great. if i didnt have to scrimpe and scrape for cash to just eat. but now i got a night job at the kangaroo on 39th. its tight shit. i'm there by myself and i listen to music the whole night. it very rarely gets busy so i have a lot of time to just do whatever. its pretty fucking tight and the people i work with are all cool as fuck.
in the girls department. havent really found anyone. i've met a couple of people at random times. but not anyone i would get into a relationship with. there is this one girl who i've been talking to a lot lately. its pretty cool. we share a lot in common. she's really nice. and she calls me when i'm at work and we just talk. about anything that comes up. its cool to be back in the dating game.
so yea. theres an update.
bam.
peace
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| a 40 ounce to freedom is the only cure i have to feel good even though i feel bad.... |
[15 Jun 2005|04:07pm] |
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eh |
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sublime |
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1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal
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| i've been trying ive been trying to drink away the part of the day that i can not sleep away... |
[31 May 2005|02:18pm] |
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 thoughtful |
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modest mouse |
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uh kinda confused. not really but just a little bit.
new things have come in to play. new feelings and new thoughts ive never had. why should i do all the work? its not my job to carry this relationship. i've always thought that the little things do matter. and its not all the guys responsibility to shoulder the burden of making a relationship work. it takes two. looking back on past relationships, including the past i have invested in this one, the little things made me feel special. just the way a girl would look across a room at me and just smile at me and even though there would be other people around us, it would make me feel like we were the only ones there. the way a girl would just rub my arm or my neck or play with my hands while lying down watching tv or watching a movie. and the way a girl would just rush me up to her room and close the door and we would seclude ourselves for hours at a time. i've been thinking more about these pasts then this present. and i want that all in one person. but i think my time is coming up soon hopefully.
i've kinda, sorta developed this new policy for me. no smoking weed until after 3 in the afternoon, except for weekends and special occasions. i love smoking. smoking in the afternoon gives me time to reflect on everything. i've decided not to smoke right before going to bed. its just a waste. you dont get to enjoy your high at all cause youre asleep. hopefully i'll keep these going on for awhile.
i also got a new job. laying down carpet. again. ha.
aight thats an update for ya.
peace
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| i know i'm young but if i had to choose her or the sun i'd be one nocturnal son of a gun... |
[25 Apr 2005|11:48am] |
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whoa |
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music |
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gym class heroes |
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well its been awhile hasnt it? a lot has happened since my last update. lets see where to begin... lets do it like this...
work - so many people have quit. britaney, david, joesph, and austin. that makes me senior coordinator here now. so i get to help out a bunch with shit. i'm the go to guy. i've been setting records and making some money for this company. they better appreciate it dammit.
home - moving out of oak forest and into santa fe pointe on sunday. i'm excited about this. it should be a lot of fun. i'm getting a computer too so i can have access to the outside world when i'm at home. its also pretty convenient because i'll be right across the street from somebody else.
girlfriend - taken. i got a girl. her name is emily. we started dating again. decided to give it another shot. so far its been awesome.
anything else..... nope. thats it for now. i'll update again soon.
peace
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| and i just cant seem to get away... |
[27 Mar 2005|11:38am] |
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mood |
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deep |
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music |
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hot water music |
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"You'll get it right sometime. You will."
I tell myself that everyday.
"You don't need to latch on to anything.
You'll just end up back here
In your little limbo scene."
It's repetitious and exhausting.
I might need some therapy;
Anything to keep me in check through the day.
Don't think about your lover.
You're already steady shaking."
I might need a sedative,
But I hate the taste of medicine.
"You just need to let her go."
These pills shaking in my hand
Just make me feel defeated,
Like I'm not able to just let her go away.
I hate this place but I love these chords.
"An empty fate just means an even score."
And the pain this morning...
It filled my head.
It's Jameson.
It means that I'm not dead.
And I just can't seem to get away
There's no such thing as escape,
Even with the sedaives
You're always in the same state,
Clutching to a limbo scene.
You're never changing anything,
You just stop the shaking.
And it's constantly repeated through the days.
- hot water music "trusty chords"
my theme song
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| this city never stays the same, i'm forced to keep on moving i gotta keep on moving... |
[27 Mar 2005|10:00am] |
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deep |
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less than jake |
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this weekend has been very interesting to say the least. friday night me, david, and emily tripped. and this trip was very unique. usually when i trip, i either a) go retarded and ask lots of questions cause i dont know whats going on or b) get real mellow and just want to observe things and peoples actions. but this time i was fully aware of my surrondings even though i was still confused about what was happening. in my mind i knew what was happening and could comprehend everything but another part of my brain just couldnt grasp the things that were going on. to give kind of an example, a couple people came over and i knew that they were there but the part of my brain that was confused couldnt grasp that it was just them randomly dropping by. it just couldnt get the randomness.
girls are the most confusing creatures ever. i cant seem to figure out what draws a girl to one guy and not to another. like one guy could be a complete asshole but is good looking and another could be the greatest guy ever and treat the girl like a queen and is just cute. and the girl is attracted to the ass. why? i can not grasp it. theres so many problems with girls. it makes me wonder why i try so hard. theres no point to it if in the end you just get walked on and used. why try?
i believe in love. i believe in the kind of love that is neverending and unconditional. no matter what happens and no matter what words are said, what actions are taken, or what events take place, the couple can make up and say "no matter how much you've hurt me, i still love you none the less". but it seems that a lot of people dont think like i do. and i understand that. but how could someone not want that kind of love? to know that at the end of it all, there will always be someone at the end of the rope that will be there to hold you up when you cant, to catch you when you fall, to love you through everything.
i might act like the most childish person ever, but behind that immatureness is is a guy who's been through a lot and has learned a lot in a short amount of time.
change is inevitable. its destined to happen. and to try to fight it is pointless. change might not always be the easiest thing to go through. but its happening for some reason. so the best thing to do is run with it and accept it.
these thoughts are my own.
peace
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| i sit here clutching uselessness.... |
[19 Mar 2005|12:36am] |
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thrice |
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i can not get a fucking break. i dont know what i have to do to get one. its complete bullshit.
lately i've noticed that i've been smoking a lot more bud than i used to. i'll just come home and smoke and smoke and smoke. till i pass out. i dont know if i'm doing it cause i want to or because i'm trying to run from shit. maybe i'm smoking so much to try to forget shit. maybe i'm trying to run from something. i dont know. or maybe i'm just smoking so much cause i want to. cause i enjoy the feeling. dont know.
for those that didnt hear, i got arrested. for possesion. like a month ago. and i had court on thursday. all i got was ten hours of community service. no probation or anything. i have 6 months to complete ten hours of community service. that was nice to find out. instead of me going to jail for 30 days.
fuck.
peace
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| well life is too short so love the one you got.... |
[14 Mar 2005|12:41pm] |
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chill |
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sublime |
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i've finally met someone who has a lot of what i look for in a girl. this girl loves the same kind of music that i like, likes skateboarding, doesnt care if i smoke or not, and is jsut a sweet girl in general. i spent the night at her place. we stayed up till 4 in the morning just talking about anything we wanted. we would ask each other questions about stuff we wanted to know about each other. it was great. i only wish i could've gotten more sleep.
new room mates are great. love david to death. if beth would calm down and stop being such a cleaning nazi then she'd be cool too.
so yea lifes good.
thats your update who ever requested it.
peace
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| whats it like to stand in your shoes, to never felt the belt of somebodies abuse... |
[22 Feb 2005|05:02pm] |
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streetlight manifesto |
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last night was fucking awesome! i went and saw streetlight manifesto in orlando. it was fucking great. whatever you think about how good their shows are, its a million times better. they played old catch 22 songs, keasby nights and dear sergio. they played every song that i wanted to hear. while we were there, we saw an old friend from high school, jodi. she dates kyle from one pump chump who was also there. he told me and david that we'll get into their show on thursday for FREE. thats also the busdrivers reunion show. they also knew everyone in streetlight so we got to meet everyone of them and talk to them. it was awesome being able to talk to them and tell them how great their music is. after the show we went to eat with this other friend we saw there, april. we went to steak and shake and just hung out and cracked jokes and talked for awhile. it was nice being able to see her again.
thursday is gonna be awesome. THE FUCKING BUSDRIVERS ARE PLAYING!
i'm lonely. seeing david with beth and not really appreciating whats in front of him is making me wish that i had a girlfriend. but i dont think i should just look for a girlfriend. cause if i do then i know i wont find that special someone.
peace
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| too bad i'm afraid to speak your name.......... |
[16 Feb 2005|11:57am] |
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contemplative |
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glasseater |
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Just another misunderstanding in my book
Too bad i'm afraid to speak your name, to hold your hand
You said i could be the best thing that happened to you
Where did all those thoughts and words go to?
You taught me what it was to smile
You taught me what it was to be alive
Maybe we'll be the talk around town
We'll roll around all day on the ground
You and I
Let's put our problems aside and let the time go by
- glasseater
girls are evil.
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| will you take the road thats been laid out before you... |
[14 Feb 2005|11:39am] |
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in pain |
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music |
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rise against |
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so i went to st. aug skatepark this weekend. and had a blast. but while i was there i took a nasty spill. i fell and stopped the fall with my right hand. and since then its been hurting like hell. i went to a doctor yesterday and they told me that i tore the ligaments in my wrist. and if in two weeks it doesnt get any better, i'll need surgery.
emily supposedily hates me right now. because i found her ONLINE journal and read it. but i guess i wasnt allowed to read it. buts its funny to me thats shes mad because i read something that ANYONE can read. whatever. grow up a little. thanks.
valentines day blows. i never really liked this holiday. ever.
peace.
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| i've broken off the thought of leaving you.... |
[13 Jan 2005|05:01pm] |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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rufio |
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oh my god i'm so fucking pissed right now. i've never been this angry or upset or hurt at the same time before. i really wanna fight someone right now. but since i couldnt, i took it out on my car. and now theres a nice dent in my hood.
fuck you.
peace
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| but this is the price i pay destiny is calling me... |
[12 Jan 2005|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
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music |
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the killers |
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my little sister listed me as one of her heroes on he myspace. how awesome is that. that shit like moved me. made me feel real good inside.
peace
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